hangenout with liz

Seeing Red...

2007-10-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

Thus today ends another Spirit Week. It's always amazing to me to see who chooses to dress up and in what they choose to dress. The Juniors class color is red, and rather than explain to everyone around me that I'm a third year graduate, I decided simply to join in the red fiasco. And it was a fiasco. While I too love an out of control hour or too, the "crazy chapel" today was by far one of the worst excuses of craziness I have ever endured. It felt like a Northland summer camp, complete with the warm air and the smell of a locker room. The cheers and even the support of the Northland faculty staff who just happened to be recruiting today and happened to be decked out in red....odd I know...only added to the camp like atmosphere. The only sad moment was when the junior class lost to the senior class, who jumped up and down to strains of "start the bus," or in this case, a cardboard vehicle similar to the one that made its glorious appearance two years ago. I have one thing to say about that--if it had air conditioning, I too would have started the bus....
Aside from the Junior class color, I've been seeing red in a different aspect. I think I"m going to China. Not permanently like some brave souls, and not even for a yearly temporary basis, like others who too are braver than I. Instead, I'm looking at the five week plan in Chengdu. Now I'm not certain about it yet, but it just seems like the more I pray about it, the clearer it seems that this is what the Lord would have for me. Talk about using people in spite of themselves. O well, hope all ends up well, and Go Juniors-or something like that....

Saturday Night Fever

2007-09-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

It's official-it's good to be me.

I'll admit these last few weeks have been touch and go. This past week was probably the most stressful week of my entire life. Between meetings, homework, class, work, tutoring, more meetings, sleepless nights and too many double-shots, I've manged to find life. Allow me to explain.

I was convinced I was never going to get a job. Or get into grad school. Or potentially move out of my parents basement. Or get out of debt. Did any of that change? No, and yes.

I got a job offer today folks. That's right, little lizzy with her love of BBC and her hatred of spontaneity, will have a real job someday. A relatively well-known career wear store offered me an opportunity to work at their HR headquarters. In New York, New York. Specifically, 5th Avenue. After I revived, I finished reading her ever-so-well written offer and passed out yet again when I came across the "further education" clause at the bottom of paragraph three. (ok so I read this thing a few times). Basically, they like me so much, they want to send me to grad school. At NYU.

Am I going to take it? Do I start looking for studios in Manhattan? (Like I could EVER afford that!!!!) Probably not. Am I going to send her a resume? You better believe it. Life is taking a turn-it's not turning out the way I thought it would in the slightest. And you know what? That's the best part...

Becoming Elizabeth and Fugate goes to College

2007-09-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

Life marches on. If there's one thing I've learned in my realatively short existence, it's that. It seems like only yesterday I was a senior in high school and today I'm a senior in college. More abnormal than that, my cousin started college as a freshman yesterday. I knew there would undoubetedly come a day where my family would hopefully pursue higher education, yet for some reason or another, I didn't think today would be that day. Who would've thought that today, I sit at my desk as a college senior without a clue as to what she wants to do with her life. More importantly, she barely knows what to do with tomorrow. Yet for some strange reason I find comfort in my cluelessness. Crazy I know, but for reasons outside of my control, it always seems that my life takes a turn for the better when I don't know where to turn. Granted, I'm familiar with the One to turn to, and that is the key. Yet I guess at the end of the day it'd be nice to see where I'm going. But maybe, just maybe, it's more important to know where I've been. I serve a God capable of supplying all my needs, wants, and innermost desires. I've grown so much, and yet still have such a long road ahead. I started this blog as a college freshman. Contrary to public opinion at the time, I was faithful and did (to the best of my knowledge) record almost daily my thoughts. As unintellectual my thoughts may be, they are my thoughts. I can now look back on my not so recent past and see the hand of God guiding me through the midst of my cluelessness. As I become Elizabeth, I start to see the bigger picture for what it is, my life's story. It's not grand or glorious yet, and I'm starting to doubt it ever will be. But it's my life, and that's what really matters.

Unpacking, Redecorating, and Nutella...

2007-08-27T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well it's official-I'm back on campus. After arriving early on Wednesday, I thought the next few days to follow would be packed with business and shopping-well I was wrong. I'm bored out of my gourd. Although I pride myself in finding entertaining things to do at a moment's notice, my creative juices seem to have been sucked out by too many empty hours. I've already hit all the major malls and shopping centers in the greater Milwaukee area, including Menards which is no small accomplishment. I also discovered Nutella-a wonderful peanut butter substance with a choclatey (I know that's spelled wrong) tang to it. I've managed to rearrange furniture and redocarte this institutional lodging to the very best of my ability. Well now, I'm going to take a nap, clean my room, pack my school bag, iron tomorrow's outfit, study ahead, and eat dinner-that should kill about 45 min.

Change...

2007-07-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my recliner at home alone, listening to the rain and hail beat against the bay window. I spent the last 20 or so minutes looking at facebook and reading the blogs of people I haven't heard from or seen updated in the last week. I've just returned Campfest 2007 in the northwoods alone and I'll be spending the next few days working at the zoo and chillin until my family gets back.
I have some potentially life changing decisions to make, and I'm tired of the way my life is right now. Sometimes I envy people headed to China.

WYOMING

2007-06-09T09:35:00.001-07:00

I LEAVE FOR WYOMING IN FOUR DAYS!!!!!! I'm so excited and am trying to prayerfully prepare for the upcoming weeks. I can't wait to see what God is going to do both in my life and the lives of those I'm traveling with. Here's a short rundown of what I'll be doing and when...so you can all pray with me...

Wednesday...leave Green Bay at 9pm in a school bus

Thursday...ride in the school bus

Friday...arrive 6am at Buffalo Bill's resort for a quick nap than off to Yellowstone National Park for the day, then finish the trip to Redcliffe Bible Camp that night

Saturday-Thursday...counseling and various other activities

Friday...jump in the bus drive to Mt. Rushmore for a wedding reception

After that...I have no idea............

Waiting to Exhale...

2007-06-05T19:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had the feeling that you're sitting on something that could be amazing. Like something really really good is about to happen, you just don't know what? These last few days have been like that for me. I started me new job and it's ok, not exceptionally difficult, but not really all that easy. I can't wait until I know how everything works and can just show up and concentrate on getting to know my kids better. It's weird to be the manager and know less than the kids you're managing. Tonight I had blood born pathagen training and commitment to the zoo pep talk. There are some amazingly fun people and some possessed animal lovers, btu all in all I'm getting along ok. Tonight I'm kinda missing people you know? It's weird how when summer school is running down all you wnat to do is go home, and now that I'm home, I miss people. weird! I got a new book from amazon.com, that's not the really good thing....something wonderful is brewing over the horizen...I can feel it

Life on the Porch

2007-05-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

Greetings fellow readers-

I must first begin with an overdue apology for my lack of bloggings. Summer School was amazing, but oh so time consuming. I learned alot, and with Advanced Writing, wrote alot. But what a whirlwind! I blinked and now I'm sitting on my front porch in the evening sunshine.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly a year can go. It seems like just yesterday when I moved in to Melford 207. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be home, I had almost forgotten how wonderful it is to just do nothing or even just sleep in my own bed. No rest for the weary however, I have one week of vacation and then I start my summer job, at the zoo.

Yes, the zoo. Where the keep animals and fish and polar bears. I'll be managing the snack shack and gift store with approximately 20 teens underneath me. I'm sure I'll have some sweet stories to post later.

Today's picture featured the two men in my life. I spent Memorial Day outside at a graduation party, then the backyard, and finally the front porch.

Last Blog of Spring 2007

2007-05-01T07:22:00.002-07:00

"Wherever You Go, Go with All Your Heart"
As I listen to the strains of Wicked floating in the air as I pack my bags for home, I continue to be amazed at what an amazing God we have, and how much He must care for us. Not only did He bring all of us together for this Spring, but He gave me the amazing joy and pleasure of being a part of it. Although I was hesitant to be a part of this amazing school in the beginning, now I am without doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be. Although change is hard and even sad, I am comforted when I realize that we are all united in Christ and will see each other again, even if it's not until Heaven. I've made friends and been reunited with old ones. I'm saying goodbye to so many people this year who have impacted my life, some in ways that they will never fully understand. To name them all is to guarantee to forget someone, so unfortunately just a general Farewell is all I have to give. Stay just the way you are right now, love God with everything you've got, for He's the only one worth it. Spend time with friends and family. Next time you drink a cup of coffee, close your eyes and remember this amazing place and the people that make it amazing. Come back and visit. Pick up the phone and randomly call people, even if you have "nothing" to say. Some day, when you're in a random place like a mall or a Starbucks, stop, close your eyes, and imagine that great day when we'll all be together again...

Like the ugly girl at the beginning of the movie...

2007-04-23T15:56:00.000-07:00

If I could video tape each day of my life and play it back at the conclusion of each day, I'd probably submit most of them to America's Funniest Home Videos (if it's still on). There are days like today especially, when everything feels like a practical joke, like if you paused one moment while it happend and could say, "This is the part of my life where I..." and fill in the blank, you'd feel sorry for me and then laugh histerically. Don't get me wrong, life is good. It's just funny. The following are a few examples of stupid things that I have done over the last three days:

1) Went to my cousin's birthday at the roller 'rena-though some cute guy was holding out his hand for me during the couple's skate, when I realized after the fact his girlfriend was skating behind me

2) Wore a thin flouncey skirt and had a Marylin Monroe moment-in the church parking lot

3) Slipped and fell on our new kitchen hardwood floor really hard-so hard the neighbor kid (who was at our house) asked if the fridge fell over

4) Turned up the speaker on my cell phone (accidentally) in the library so when my friend called and asked if I was still going tanning, everyone knew exactly what my afternoon plans were

5) Made a huge deal about how I had all my projects done, and then being publically reminded by the teacher about the paper I still had due for him

6) Shredding my nylons after tripping on my Barbie heels-in center court

7) Breaking my shoe on the way to the Welcome Center to pick up the paper-which wasn't there

8) Reaching with the tongs for a sandwhich while not paying attention-and thus accidentally picking up the sandwhich off of someone elses plate

9) Hitting my head on the pole underneath my bunk so loudly it woke my roomate up

10) Sitting down on a wheely chair in the library-while the chair wheeled right out from under me

Well, there's just 10 of the classic video clips of the past few days-I can only imagine what the rest of this week will bring...

Blip...

2007-04-20T20:19:00.000-07:00

"Not all who wander are aimless."

I love going. It doesn't matter where or how, whether it be running, walking, driving, it's the journey that fascinates me. If I could, I'd become a flight attendant just to enjoy the trip. I hate just "getting there." With the fast pace of college, I rarely get to enjoy my little adventures. It wasn't until this last week that I realized I go on these little journey's everyday. Yes, my life does have purpose, and I do set out to accomplish a few key things every day. Yet, I don't really know where I'm going to end up every day. I don't know where I'll end up tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. It used to bother me. I wanted a plan. Now, I've come to love the journey, the spontaneity. I find joy in knowing that I don't know, and I'm OK with that. Set goals, just enjoy achieving them.

Will Someone Wake Me Up Before I Drool on the Desk?!

2007-04-17T18:41:00.002-07:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year here at Maranatha. The sun is shining, we can finally see the grass, and we don't need to run the broken boiler! How amazing. Yet with the warm weather comes an unwelcome friend called final exams. Now, for some fortunate people, these are the last few tests of their college career, yeah for you. For the rest of us, finals are an unfriendly reminder of 1) how far we still have to go, 2) how much this can harm our grade, and 3) how much caffeine we are about to consume. Yup. It's at this point in the semseter that I start my Starbucks fund, and start stocking up on caffeine pills and beverages, and fun retarded things to bust out when it's quarter after 3 in the morning and I could use a good laugh. Usually, this stack includes comics that are totally not funny during the day, student class pictures from the C-Net, which always inspire giggles, and this year, the new Maranatha emblem. Or should I say the old emblem. I don't know, I can't tell the difference.

Perhaps the worst thing about this time of year is the lack of sleep. Unfortunately, I've reached the point in the semester where I could accomplish more outside of class than I could inside, so I've learned to compromise. Since I have so many projects and papers, and quite frankly, it's too difficult to work on my projects in class (carrying all those books, laptop, Ipod, etc.) I've decided to do something revolutionary. I sleep in class. It's a great compromise. Now, I can effectively maximize my time at night, and not be tired all day. Sleeping in class and between classes is not too difficult. In fact, if you wear a long coat and a zip sweater, you can hang the long coat over the front of the desk in in the library, and you can lay underneath it, using the sweater for a pillow. Anywho, good luck on what's to come, and frozen hot chocolate with a double shot of espresso typically does the wake up trick...

Finally Spring

2007-04-15T14:05:00.002-07:00

A good book is like a good friend. I agree with that statement. In fact, I'd even go so far to say a bad book is like a good friend, if it's clever enough. The bad thing about letting books become your friends is that, try as you might, it's impossible to get feed back from them. That's what I've discovered over the last three weeks. Genius, I know. Over these last days I've been fighting against so many obstacles, it's been near impossible to concentrate or accomplish anything. And, instead of running to people for advice or help, or better yet, running to God for advice and help, I ran to myself and of couse, my books. You see, I was searching for answers from objects that couldn't help, relying on myself for answers that I could not possibly come up with on my own. I thought I had my life planned out, and now, not only did I discover how far off I was, I discovered a new plan entirely.

I messed up. I over committed myself without thinking. Well, to be honest, I thought that everything would just land in my lap without struggle, and that ultimately, what I wanted to do was going to happen. I was going to make it happen. Note to self, I'm not in control. It's not like I wanted to do anything bad, or necessarily unfruitful, I just wanted to do it my way. I wanted to go to law school, I wanted to work at camp, I wanted the job, I wanted the car, money, etc. So I did whatever I could to get it, without caring about who I hurt or what I had to force others to sacrifice to get it. Selfish to the core, I laid my steps before me. Oh, it looked like solid ground, it looked like it was just the path I should take. The great image of Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade flashes before me, "Junior, in Hebrew, Jehovah begins with an I!". Then, Indiana takes that fateful step, on what looks like sturdy ground and falls through. That's the best picture of my last few months.

Yet, God is merciful. God forgives. He comes behind us with a broom and dustpan, or in my case a whole street sweeper, and takes care of the damage control. Short story-I'm called to teach or write, not practice law. I'm supposed to go home, even though it's hard, and work, not go to camp and run from my problems. I'm supposed to run to God with everything, and place my life through His filter.
I learned a lesson. I got burned. I messed up. But I didn't blow it. I didn't ruin God's perfect plan for me. I'm just taking my second chance. I'm no longer going to live this "half-life," I'm going to commit, to whatever God has for me. I'm going to go, to the ends of the earth if necessary to find out where I'm supposed to be, or what I'm supposed to be doing. Praise God, the winter is finally over in my life. Here comes the spring.

Like the stuff that the pond scum feeds on...

2007-04-12T13:58:00.002-07:00

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.

- Samuel Crothers

Ever blown it? Royally messed up. A big failure. Not just a grade either, but a colossal mess-up? Welcome to my life. I failed. Big time. This is probably the biggest failure of my life. You know, what? I don't like this feeling. I hate it actually. But I messed up. I disappointed a whole slew of people, like a pebble in the pond, it just keeps rippling. I went back on my word and my promises, and now I'm reaping the consequences. No, I'm not going to get kicked out, I'm not going to jail, I just hurt people. I feel like an idiot. And it just keeps getting better...

The Happy Thought for Today

2007-04-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to take a moment and say that I adore Casablanca and that is why this is the only thing I could think of during my US II test. So as I turned in what is sure to be my worst grade of the semester, all I can say is, "Here's lookin at you, kid."

Save the Drama for your Mama

2007-04-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

"Life comes at you fast. If you don't slow down and look around every once and awhile, you might miss it."
-Ferris Bueller
Today was the fastest day of my entire life. Well, OK, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not such a far stretch. All I know for sure is, if it keeps going like this, just shoot me (metaphorically speaking) before it's over.
The idiots were also running the asylum today. I'm all about being friendly and coming to each other's needs, but in some cases, people are just ridiculous. Take for example work in the Library, not a bad gig if you're quiet, subdued, and patient. Today, like most days, I laced all of the above. Someone expected me to simply dismiss a $10 fine because they chose to take a week of cuts after Spring Break. My response to that, be a big kid and take care of it before you leave. (yes, unfortunately that is what I said, not one of my more steller moments, I agree). She in turn had a hissy fit, yes that's the only term to accurately describe what happened, and demanded that I excuse her irresponsibility. Now, for those of you who are not well acquainted with me, I'll let you in on a little secret. The way to get places with me is not, I repeat, not to act like a small child. I would much rather you produce a 12-14 point document stating your case and referring to at least two philosophers. That's just me. Needless to say, the individual walked away $10 poorer than when she came in.
Another thing that bothers me and should change, is customer service in the Brown County Human Resource Center. Two years ago, I applied for an internship program. Now, for those of you who know nothing about county politics, I'll let you in on yet another little secret, country jobs serve as stepping stones to get you into the legal world. Considering that until two weeks ago that was my life plan, it made sense to apply for this job. Unfortunately, no one there can effectively service the public. All I wanted was to set up an interview, of which the contacted me to set up, at a time appropriate for my schedule. Instead, the only available time slot they could give me was Thursday at 11:30, or I could as it was so eloquently put, "revisit my priorities." Amazing, for the first time in my life, school was not placed on the list of priorities. Amazing. So, I hereby vow, and desperately hope I can fulfill, to not only arrive at this interview in smashing fashion, but to nail the interview with all that is in me. For to me to miss class, is to most certainly land this $13.75 an hour job.
Thank you dear reader, for allowing me to vent...

The Time of My Life

2007-03-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

Right now, I'm sitting in my overstuffed arm chair, watching 24 on DVR, and trying to savor the last few moments of Spring Break. My week wasn't exciting. I didn't go to Mexico or Miami Beach. I didn't get a tan or swim in the ocean. I didn't go out with a bunch of friends or go road trippin'. I reflected. For the first time in a long time I stopped everything and waited. Waited for what, you ask? I don't really know. I'm not in the middle of a crisis, and I'm not overwhelmed with life or anything. Granted, I have a few unanswered issues in my life, and a Bible Doctrine paper that's still lying unfinished on the kitchen table. I didn't stop to rethink my life or change my major, I just wanted to stop. So stop I did. I babysat and watched tv, played on the Internet and baked cookies. To most people, I "wasted" my Spring Break, but for me, it was one of the best ever. See, I've realized something over the last few days, I don't do this enough. Granted, one can't spend their whole life watching tv and laying around the house, but we can appreciate little things. God created life for His glory and our pleasure. Yet, God didn't create only weekends and vacations, not only fun trips and family reunions. God created Mondays, and day-after-vacation days, first day of the semester days, and days when it all hits the fan. So, tonight, as I linger in these last few precious moments, I'm making myself a promise. As I leave tomorrow, I"m not going to cry, I'm not going to get all depressed, I'm not going to complain that the week was too fast or that school is too boring. I'm going to savor the last 4-5 weeks of my sophomore year. I'm going to listen in class, even when watching paint dry is more exciting. I'm going to savor dinner with my friends in the dining hall, and Dr. Oat's messages in chapel, because these are the last precious moments of this semester. These are the last times this particular group of people are going to be together. These are the last days I'm going to be like I am now. These could be the best days of my entire life.

Much Ado About Nothing

2007-03-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

Life is never boring, but not always worth discussing and/or blogging about. Hence the lag between actual text and pictures in the blog. Sure, I could blog about the discussion we had in Baptist Heritage about post-modernity, or the numerous discussions about marriage and singleness in chapel and Principles of Bible Study, but none of that was interesting the first time around, and to reitterate(sp?) it now borders on pointless. I could discuss artist's series, where Jill and I took off for Gurnee Mills and enjoyed shopping and lusting after the sailors from the navy base who roam the mall on Friday evenings. I could discuss the free Krispy Kreme donuts we received from the cute guy at Krispy Kreme. I could talk more about the torunament victory for cuz cuz and the snow storm that recked my weekend. I could blog about the sleepy sickness I've been experiencing, or the dillema between camp or work for the summer. I could talk until I'm blue in the face about all the fun that I'd love to have during spring break and yet all the work I must accomplish in that short amount of time. I could blog about the Coach bag I've been trying to purchase for the last 24 hours that has turned into the financial fiasco second only to Enron. I could talk about all of the couples currently surrounding me in the computer lab, typing to their significant others and trying to have a deep discussion about the true meaning of "us" over the internet. I should talk about all of the clever new ways I've discovered to create work for myself at the Library, while actually doing nothing and getting paid for it. But all of this is besides the point, well, it would be if I had a point...

State Champions-The Curse Reversed

2007-03-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

Artist Series

2007-02-26T11:28:00.000-08:00

When Comes The Spring...

2007-02-21T16:17:00.000-08:00

I love My Fair Lady. I've loved it since I was little. At the age of six, I can distinctly remember watching the movie on a small, static-filled, rabbit-eared tv in our living room, twirling around like Audrey Hepburn and putting marbles in my mouth. Fortunately, I never swallowed one, but that's beside the point. Towards the end of the movie when Henry Higgens finally realizes that beauty is really in the eyes of the beholder and, like in all good moives, he loves her implicitly. And, like in all good musicals, the orchestra begins to drift the now familiar cords of "I Could Have Danced All Night," and Higgens begins to sing. The words go like this:

"I've grown accustomed to her face,

She almost makes the day begin,

I've grown accustomed to the tune,

She whispers night and noon,

Her smiles, her frowns,

Her ups, her downs,

Are second nature to me now,

Like breathing out and breathing in,

I was serenely independent and content before we met,

Surely I could always be that way again,

And Yet, I've grown accustomed to her looks, accustomed to her voice,

Accustomed to her, face."

Now, I of course, can never take this at face value and move on. No, I, in a twisted and probably far out there way, compared it to my walk with Christ. Now, before you run from the room shaking your head, hear me out. Are we accustomed to the face of Christ? Are His actions second nature to us? Does He make our day begin, or is it something else? Now that spring is in the air, I again stand amazed at our wonderful Savior. He has done so much for me and yet I know Him so very little. At times, it feels as though the more I learn the less I know. But I'm going to keep learning, keep striving, keep challenging myself until Christ becomes what I breath out and what I breathe in. He's the only one whose worth it.

Further proof your sin will find you out...

2007-02-15T07:29:00.001-08:00

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese headmaster, who tried to buy off colleagues by cooking dog meat for them after secretly selling off trees around the school, ended up setting fire to classrooms when the meal burst into flames, a Chinese newspaper said Friday. Ten classrooms containing televisions, computers, printers and textbooks burned down, leaving nearly 100 children unable to go to school, the Beijing Youth Daily said.The headmaster, in the northeastern province of Heilongjiang, sold off a 1,000-tree arboretum surrounding the school on the sly, the newspaper said."In order to get the teachers not to tell anyone what he had done, on the afternoon of May 16, headmaster Meng got friends to obtain two dogs, which they proceeded to kill on the school grounds," the report said."He then told the teachers they would have dog meat to eat that afternoon," it added.But the plan went awry when the dog being cooked burst into flames and set fire to the school's main office and then the classrooms.The local education bureau fined the headmaster 10,000 yuan ($1,252) and suggested he be fired, the newspaper said.

Further proof your sin will find you out...

2007-02-15T07:29:00.000-08:00

I miss being six...

2007-02-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

Get up, brush your teeth, go to school, do your homework, watch tv, go to bed, repeat. That was my life. All was good and normal and routine. Then I hit high school, where I could do whatever I wanted (within reason of course), and yet still had to answer to my parents at the conclusion of each day. Then, welcome to college, where one can usually do whatever one wants, only I get the privilge of attending a school more rigid than home ever was. Yet, there was more freedom to find and experience, and I can practically do whatever I want whenever I want. With graduation and real life lurking it's ugly head around the corner, I am faced with the question every college student fears, what next? People talk about God's will and just "knowing" what to do every day. That's impossible to know 100% for sure when it comes to the rest of your life. Sure, the Bible gives us all the advice we need for the big picture. Follow Christ, love the Lord with all your heart, love your neighbor as yourself. Ok, so that means I'm supposed to work where? That means I'm supposed to go to grad school? Law School? Marriage? Single? Find me the First book of Elizabeth and show me what chapter I'm on. Anyone, Anyone? Bueller? Seriously, I've never been so out to sea in my life. Now befor you go one and post a comment which says flippantly to not worry about tomorrow, I'm not talking about tomorrow and months from now. I'm worried about later today. The little decisions I make are framing who and what I am becoming on a daily basis. Blue socks or Black socks? this decision alone carries with it thousands of tiny consequences. Think I'm being ridiculous? Think about it. Maybe by wearing my black socks, I want to avoid the salt on the sidewalk and walk through the gym instead. In the back hallway I meet a friend I haven't talked to in awhile and we begin chatting about mutual friends. That person gives me bad news about one particular friend of mine. I call someone else and find out that it's true, one of my friends messed up his life royally and is now in prison. Then, I ask myself, Should I have worn the blue socks? They don't show salt so much. I would have been in the dark. Would that have been better? So you see, I wish I was six. Mom picked out my socks.

As Time Goes By

2007-02-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

Ever

feel inadequate ? Like you are teeny tiny and really little. Ever wonder what emotions your parents went through when they first saw you, like right after you were born? Ever get asked Huge life questions and feel completely bewildered. Ever have something happen to your "life plan" and feel like you're just flying by the seat of your pants? Ever seen some 300 college students out of control? Welcome to my week.

What's Love Got to Do With It?

2007-01-25T16:26:00.000-08:00

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." C.S. Lewis

Someone got it right. Last night as I walked through Wal-Mart I happened to gaze upon the Valentines Day decor and gifts and realized that, once again, my little dream of roses and chocolate would be over. Not that I'm depressed, rather I'm just anxious for God's plan to be revealed to me. As I looked upon the roses and the gifts and cards, something dawned on me. The cards had a theme, and it wasn't love. Cards read, "I love you because you remember me even when I'm crabby," or "I love you because of all the things you do for me, even the little things." True, love without action isn't love at all, but shouldn't love have to do more with the other person than you? I'd like to see a card that says, "I love you and want whatever's best for you, even if that means you dump me without warning, forget it's Valentines Day, smash my car, burn my toast, and forget my birthday. That's love. Love isn't jealous of others, it's not easily provoked, it's not puffed up. Love does not seek her own. Again, Love does not seek her own. Maybe if we stopped seeking, and started serving others, then we'd find love. God loves us like this. What has He ever gained from creating us? We failed Him in the very beginning and we continue to bring pain and heartache to Him every time we fail Him. We crucified His only Son, and sin as though we don't know He exisits. Yet out of His deep love for us He gives, and gives, and gives, and gives again and again and again. Love is never easy, and it's never about us. Now, when I'm at the store, I see roses in an entirely new light. Now, I notice the thorns.

Steryotypes are Shortcuts

2007-01-15T18:57:00.000-08:00

The jocks, the losers, the home schoolers, the popular, the athletic. We all know them. We all do it too. Classify people according to the outward appearance and actions. However, are we always right? I happen to have the gift of sterotyping. Today at lunch I found myself watching people and I had a somewhat amazing thought. What if we didn't sterotype? What if we just switched it up entirely and ate with a different group? What if we didn't see sterotypes, but we saw the person. We saw the freshman eating lunch alone, and not the sheltered home schooler. We saw the guy playing pool by himself and not just a brain without a group. What if we didn't classify people as brains, or stuck up, because they happen to be "popular." Jesus saw people as people, and that's how I want to see them.

In His Shoes...

2006-12-29T16:05:00.000-08:00

Three hours to live. 180 minutes. Not even enough time to watch The Sound of Music and have a decent intermission. An empty prison cell with your last meal on the table and a clock ticking on the wall. Utter quietness except for the ticking of the clock and the beating of your heart. Death by Hanging, that's your sentence. You can do nothing to escape or somehow avoid your fate. 179 minutes.
He deserves it. No doubt about it. Killing thousands, possible hundreds of thousands of people deserves nothing less but death itself. Death by hanging would not necessarily be my mode of choice, yet that is his fate chosen by the people he hurt. Yet my sick and twisted mind cannot help but place myself in his shoes right now. What would I do if I was to be executed in less than 3 hours? What would I order for my last meal? Not to be dark and cynical and all, but what would you do? I think I wouldn't cry or brood, in fact, I'd probably just type a little faster...

O Why Can't Everyday Be Like Christmas?

2006-12-19T21:08:00.000-08:00

Elvis Presley. Judy Garland. Bing Crosby. Christmas Lights. The Smell of Sap dripping from the freshly cut Christmas Trees. A Gently falling snow. Sugar Cookies. Wrapping Presents. Hot Chocolate in front of the fire. WOW! I just love this holiday more and more every year. I guess the best part about this holiday is that everyone takes one day out of 365 and recognizes the birth of a Savior. You can call it Happy Holidays, Kawanza, whatever, but nonetheless you are recognizing Christmas. A tiny star over a manger in Bethlehem so many years ago. Tonight, I'm sitting in my new room in our new home addition. Tomorrow, I'm finishing up the rest of my Christmas shopping and making sugar cut out cookies. In less than a week, I'll be opening presents under the tree with my family. I'm on Christmas break. That's probably the best part. This is the worst thing I have ever written grammatically for a blog post, I'll be the first to admit it. Buy it's late, I'm tired, and these are the thoughts running through my head. So sit back in the next few days, relax, put on your fuzzy socks and your favorite Christmas album after everyone has gone to bed, and just remember what makes Christmas, and cherish the special moments you have, for all too soon they will be gone...

Don't Forget to Remember...

2006-12-08T12:21:00.000-08:00

Today was the last day of classes for this fall semester. It really feels like the semester has just started, and in many ways, the lessons that I have begun to learn are still with me. When I first sat down to write this, I was positive I would be able to sum up a semester in one word, yet, upon further review, I cannot. Below are listed a few of what I think are the best memories from this semester.
-Surviving and eventually thriving in Early American Political Thought
~perhaps the hardest class I've ever taken and definitely the most boring
-The Importance of Being Earnest
~Ok Crew! Finding the courage to try out when I didn't even want a part, initially.
-Making new friends and strengthening relationships with old ones
~JILL BUSSE!!!!, Justin Jones, Katie Walton, Allison Stephens, and of course Brandi, Morgan...
-Taking long walks in the park with a friend at night
~Wednesday night venting sessions with Lydia
-Falling on my face and picking back up
~Checking my e-mail instead of working, etc.
-Realizing how frail life really is
~Great car flipping ordeal, where the only thing that died was La Honda
-Learning that my actions have consequences, good or bad
~well, learning that lesson from my good friends who cannot be left alone...
-Spending the weekend with friends
~Staying with Fraser and friends at his house was amazing! Love you guys!
-Laughing and Crying through friends trials and my own
~Brandi's home, my mom's pregnancy, Julie's sister's scan...
-Eating salads from McDonalds the first day back
~and spilling all over the floor
-Qudoba
~Yes the door stop burrito!
-Gurnee Mills Shopping Weekend
~Just mom and cuz cuz...well and the American Express card
-Getting a new Job
~Yes, working at Blaine Myron's Library, I pity thee if you are confused
-Watching my brother score the overtime soccer goal giving his team 1st in State
~Still brings a tear to my eye
-Having friends from home stay with me
~Mandy Dunford, got to love that girl!
-It is true to have "loved and lost than to have never loved at all"
~Relationships are a gift and a curse
-Day after Thanksgiving Shopping
~Seeing Jill's face when the alarm went of at 3:30-then running through Target
-Sending Lydia on Band Tour and helping set up the exercise disaster
~Filling a duffel bag with Immodium AD and Peanut Butter
-Watching good friends like Stephanie Davis, Katy Vangen, and others as they prepare for life
~You are so fun and such an example! I'll miss you forever!!
-Winning Spirit Week
~And to think we captured the President
-The first chapel with the I-Pres.
~Kudos to Dr. Oats for restoring unity to the Student Body after a difficult summer
-Writing an extra paper for Dr. Saxon, and turning it in
~Overachiever or Dumb Blond?
All in all A Great Semester! I'll see you back here next January, or whenever the Lord chooses to bring us together again!

"Wherever you go, Go with all your heart."

Finals....

2006-12-05T12:03:00.000-08:00

You Are So Special....

2006-12-01T12:59:00.000-08:00

"You are such an individual." We've all heard it, I usually hear it at least once a day. As I watched the snow flakes fall from my dorm room window, I began to ponder this question, what makes someone an individual.

They are unique. Not necessarily. I'm called an individual on a daily basis, and I'm not all that different from anybody else. Individual in the sense that I am the only exact, carbon copy of myself, now that I understand. There is truly no one else like me, or is there?

Everyday I see people on this campus that remind me of someone else. Someone from high school, a member of my family, that guy I met at Kwik Trip last week. People all over this world compare themselves to celebrities or politicians and try to determine which one they look the most like, or in some cases, who or what the celebrity or politician looks most like. If people are really all unique, what's so unique about that?

True individuality is rarely recognized and scarcely rewarded. Those who appear the most controversial in their ideas, the most popular, and those who seem to over achieve in the spotlight are given the glory. But true individuals, people who acted against the character and ebb and flow of everyone around them, live and die in the shadows. The little people in the Bible, the civil war soldier, the B student, all people who may have stood above everyone else and are yet forgotten. The Bible character that donated his tomb for Christ. The Civil War soldier who at the Battle of Antietam had the brilliant idea of a Union counter attack. The average student who gave up his study time to volunteer. These are the individuals who deserve the recognition.

Where do I fit in? The spotlight is always desirable, human nature itself can attest to that.To be the captain of the team, the spiritual leader, the student body president, the next American Idol, all of these dreams and ambitions are in everyone of us. But those who lay aside these ambitions for a backseat role in society, these are the true individuals.

Pause...Wallow...Move On...

2006-11-29T18:28:00.000-08:00

I'm overwhelmed. I'm not going to lie. All of the semester's stuff has really crept up on me, and I now realize that unlike all of those other kids who prepared effectively for the end of the semester who can now relax, it's not even a sprint to the finish line for me, it's a 750 meter dash. I have Christmas shopping and six decent sized papers to complete, a family that's decided now is the best time to visit, a group of visitors who are living and breathing Christmas Break and Basketball games, and me, one who has taken just a moment to wallow in her own self pity, and will then move on.

I woke up crabby for the first time since I was 16, which was quite a shock to my poor innocent roommates who unfortunately fell victim to my verbal aggression. A few good things have happened this week, things that I was sure I wanted to happen, and now, am scared to death about. Take for instance, my summer plans. On one of those, "I could achieve anything if I just believe in myself enough," kind of days, you know, the days when you quote the British Air Force slogan, "Those who risk, win," kind of days, I signed up for Northland Camp and had an interview. No Biggie. I figured it would quite honestly just look good to the people back home and maybe I would get in, but probably not. And then, I began thinking positively about the whole thing and wishing I would get in and dreaming about my fabulous summer up in the North woods where I grew up. Low and Behold, I got in. Now, I'm terrified. I mean, it's one thing to talk about sky diving, and another thing to actually jump. I know with a lot of prayer and contemplation I will be able to make the right choice, and well, I pretty much already know what I have to do, it's just finding the strength to do it.

I've lost all motivation for the rest of the semester, and well, am curious to see just what will happen to me in the next short months. Now, for some humor. The following are odd moments that have occurred with my teachers and friends over the last few sleepless days...

Dr. Perdue- " Just tell you're friends you have to go 'Cut some babies in half,' next time you have a decision to make."

Mr. Licht- "All of those Southern slave-lovers."

Mr. Midcalf-"And I don't really not want to want to not to tell you about what not to write your paper on."

The following is a conversation where the other party shall remain nameless:

ME: "Well Guys, I've got to go, my D.P. paper is calling my name." (D.P. Standing for Dev. Psych)

FRIEND:"Yeah, so is my IBS!"(Poor Girl, IBS was supposed to stand for Intro. to Bib. Studies)

*keep in mind that entire conversation took place at a loud decibel across the dining hall*

Thanks for saving us from the Ravages of the Savages...

2006-11-23T16:37:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Imagaine, a year ago today I was doing the exact same things I'm doing today, eating and sleeping and watching movies. Let's see, I've been home a grand total of three days and I've seen 7 films, plus television. Crazy huh? And I've achieved nothing. That's right, nothing. Not one of my five papers has been written, not one of my homework lessons glanced at, not one of the two books that I have to read cracked open. Yes, I've been lazy, and the sad and scary part is, I'm not feeling one bit guilty.

Tomorrow is a day of indulgence, not that these past few days haven't had their moments of absoloute perfection. Tomorrow is the one day out of the year that I rise before five, that's AM CST, and stand in line along with dozens, sometimes hundreds of other shoppers and help support the economy and the credit card companies. Tomorrow, I will risk everything, well, sleep deprivation and the occassional television box to the head, in order to achieve a financially economical Christmas. Also known as, buying everybody what they want so they all think that I'm spending way more money than I should, when I'm actually getting everything for dirt cheap by getting up at the crack of dawn.

I also am pleased to not that three weeks from today, I will be sitting in this same location, the bay window in the family room, typing away on my laptop, having successfully finished my semester of 20 credits, work, and the play. Happy Thought.

Life moves fast. It's true. If you don't blow off school every once and awhile, you might miss it.

Bonus points for those who can identify the title of this blog, meaning the author and the year. If you're really cool, add double bonus points for identifying the last line of the post.

The Importance of Skipping Homework...

2006-11-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

Yes. We had the concluding perfomances of The Importance of Being Earnest this weekend. Here are some fun pictures, the last picture is us dissing our homework! Have a safe Thanksgiving Travel Time friends...

Things that won't appear in Maranatha's school play...

2006-11-18T08:22:00.000-08:00

The following are the top ten qutotations that should have appeared in the Importance of Being Earnest...I am the only one, other than Justin, Ruthann, etc. who have the ability to do this, since we were involved directly with the play...the following are in no particular order and yet, here they are...so if you haven't seen the play, please print and insert where you will...

10) Than a passionate life of celibacy is all that any of us have to look forward too...
9) Caused by the explosion of a temperance beverage, an incident that occured at Lemington...
8) The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her, if she is pretty, and to some one else, if she is plain.
7) And certainly once a man begins to neglect his domestic duties he becomes painfully effeminate, does he not? And I don't like that. It makes men so very attractive.
6) Algy, you're always talking nonsense. It's better than listening to it.
5) Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven’t got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die
4) Divorces are made in Heaven
3) In married life, three is company and two is none
2) No married man is ever attractive except to his wife
1) Nowadays, people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Thanks and enjoy the show!

It's deep out there, and I can't swim...

2006-11-15T18:33:00.000-08:00

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way." C. S. Lewis

What a crazy busy week for me. It's been crazy with the play and everything. I've been going to bed late and getting up super early, just to finish what I couldn't finish the day before. Don't you all remember summer when the days at work were so long that you just couldn't stop staring at the clock. What happend to those days?

The above quote is one that I've been pondering over the last few days, and will probably end up printing on the infamous daily quote white board we have in our room. The daily part of the board has been lacking since my roomate put up the "Godliness with contenment is great gain" verse. We were going to take it down just as it appeared she would be dating, but then, that didn't happen and thus, the verse has stayed.

Anyway, all of that aside. My buddy Clive Staples really hit a home run with this one. I've been feeling lately just like this verse. I know that what I want right now and what God wants for me are probably not the same thing. Not that I want anything bad, please allow me to clarify. I see things happening in the lives of those around me and basically want that for me. And yet, am I willing to trade the life I have now for that? I'm not sure. I don't want to be 20 miles wide and 2 inches deep, and yet I want some shallow stuff too. I wish that I could see part of my life 20 years from now and just see the end result for 10 sec. I wish that I had met someone in particular sooner than this semester, for it would have been interesting to see what would have or could have happend. So, instead of saying, "All right then, have it your way," I'm going to try to start saying, "Thy will be done."

BOOK UPDATE: It's working friends. It's working...

2006-11-15T10:51:00.001-08:00

http://www.myheritage.com

I'm so unique I'm just like everyone else...

2006-11-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I've officially experienced some crazy days here at Maranatha, I'm not going to lie. Here are a couple of things that I've gleaned both from the reading of other blogs and just talking to other people around...minus my mother, who is going to kill me for not calling her for an entire week....
1) I'm just like everyone else, and yet I'm different. My thoughts about life and the struggles I go through are very similar to other people, and yet, I'm quirky. Quirky is perhaps the only accurate word to describe me. I'm just not normal, and yet, not mal-normal? Sorry, that was another quirky word. Anyway, there's great comfort in knowing that almost everyone else around you is going through the same struggles you are, and yet, your trials are unique and colorful. (i.e.-see James 1:1-7 and do a word study on divers temptations)
2) What is up with the weather? Last week, I'm so cold I wear two pairs of knee socks, which getting the second pair of knee socks over the first pair was quite a task, and I was still freezing. And today, short sleeved polo without a coat. I have a love hate relationship with my home state...
3) Play Practice. Enough Said. When is it going to end, and when am I going to stop feeling so sad that it's almost over....
4) Sorority and the Student Body Officers- well, I pitched my sorority to the student body officers along with my co-president on Tuesday. They loved the idea, but were more interested in our sorority discussions (i.e. Top Ten Single Guys on Maranatha Campus) than in our actual ideas...hmmm....
5) Thanksgiving is coming. Holy Cow! I just finished unpacking here like a week ago, and I'm telling the truth, and now, it's almost the end of the semester? As Jill would say..."are you for real?!"
6) Good ol' Wisconsin votes yes to marriage and Doyle's casinos, some things never change...
That's about it...I'm sure I'll have something traumatic to blog about next time...Thursdays are usually D-day for me for some reason...Peace out.

The Best Book I've Ever Read...(well, almost)

2006-11-06T13:18:00.000-08:00

I hated I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I'm not going to lie. That book I thought was full of people who believed that sitting on your butt and waiting for God to bring you the right man for your life (or girl for that matter) was being more "holy" and "pure" then those stupid people who are constantly dating. Yet, I was not certain that I was right, and well, I thought I must just not be as good as a Christian as those other people were. Well yesterday, in an event that can only be described as God's will, I had a total paradigm shift (bonus points for using a philosophy term). I discovered a Christian Dr.'s prospective on dating that has totally changed my life. The book is called, as you can tell from the picture, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating in Six Months or Your Money Back. Well, obviously when I saw the "or your money back" part, I decided that this might be a book worth picking up. So I dug around in my wallet until I found 12 bucks, and paid for the book, expecting it to be full of useless or already well-known knowledge. What I found changed my prospective. Dr. Henry Cloud is a genius, not in the Dr. Saxon type of way, but in the "I know this is what you've been taught and how you think, and I'm going to gently attempt to change that," kind of way. Although that prospective makes me cringe and red flags pop up all over in my mind, it became a book well worth reading. So, the next few posts will undoubtedly be about what I have learned from that book, and hopefully, in six months I'll look back on this chapter in my blog and smile, then exit this page, run down the stairs, and meet the man of my dreams...

Friday Night Lights...

2006-11-03T15:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it. The week is over and it is officially Friday night here at MBBC. I'm working at the library this evening, so I apologize in advance if this blog becomes reflective in nature, it just sort of happens when I'm in this building. Anyway, something magical happens here on Friday nights, I really can't quite explain it. It's like the entire student body breathes a sigh of relief. It's Friday night, you can do anything you want because you have all weekend to finish your paper. It's Friday night, you can ask that guy out because you want to go out, and it is, after all Friday night. It's Friday night, and you have the power for a few short hours to completely control you destiny. It's Friday night, and you have absolutely nothing to do. You are feeling very guilty because you have failed once again to prepare in advance for that paper due Monday. It's Friday night, and you are much too self concerend to ask that guy out, because your fear of rejection is amazing. It's Friday night, and you really don't feel like going anywhere in particular, or doing anything that fantastic. This begs you to ask yourself that dreaded question, "Am I a Friday Night Buzzkill?" Am I that girl that no one asks out because she could go shopping and fill up the bags underneath her eyes with all her purchases, because she looks like she hasn't slept in a week? Am I the girl that has no where to go because she chooses not to go anywhere, or am I just too afraid? Am I the girl who is so concerned about her future that she wonders if she will ever be able to relax and not stress over the paper? There will always be something due Monday, there will always be that one wonderful guy you just can't stop thinking about no matter how much you try. There will always be that destination that is scary and requires greater courage than you ever thought you'd have to get there. But will you be brave enough to put the project aside? Brave enough to pick up the phone and call him, and completely put yourself out there? Brave enough to get in the car and just go? I don't know the answer, and I'm scared that I will allow my fear of due dates, rejection, and adventure to keep me from ever really experiencing life. I don't want any answers, I just want to send these question out into this cosmic cyberspace and let them float away...

I Hope Life Never Gets Boring...

2006-11-01T16:34:00.000-08:00

It's true. God has a sense of humor. And, in light of recent events, I have been the victim of that humor. You see, Monday night, as I was driving back to campus, some guy in a big black truch went speeding past me at a crazy speed. So, being the good Christian I am, said fine, see if I care. Well, 10 min. later, he was stopped in the middle of the road with his flashers on. This is not good, I thought to myself. Then I said, Self, should you stop, seeing it is dark, you are by yourself, and well, this could be dangerous. So I decided hey, I've got a cell phone, and pulled over. Well, I see the driver of the vehicle kicking a large object in front of the truck, and his friend, doubled over with laughter. O my goodness, he hit a person, No, it is too big to be a person, but wait, that's a really big deer, o my goodness, he hit a cow. That's right ladies and gentlemen, he hit a cow. So guess who blocked the road while he Mooooooved it, Me! That's right, I was 45 min late for play practice, because the guy in front of me hit a cow. So now, the rumor around school is, "Girl in Melford Hits Cow." Just to clarify, I did not hit the cow. I helped moooove it...

More Fun Weekend Pictures...

2006-10-25T13:33:00.000-07:00

We spent the weekend watching movies and playing board games essentially. But on Saturday morning the guys got the great idea to wip out the paint ball guns and slingshots. So we got to shoot of all sorts of weaponry in the rain. Saturday night, the Armstrong treated all of us to Jalepeno (sp?) thick burgers at Hardees, which was a real treat. So here are the pictures...

Friends are the Family You Choose for Yourself...

2006-10-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

The following are pictures from my fun and fabulous weekend. I am so blessed to be here at Maranatha and have made so many wonderful and Godly friends. This weekend we crashed at the Armstrongs for a weekend of fun, food, and fellowship. The following are only a few of the many pictures to follow...

Maybe the movies were right...

2006-10-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie. Now, stay with me here. Sometimes I feel like the girl in the beggining of all chick flicks. You know who I'm talking about. The girl who spends more time writing about what she wants to do and see with her life than what she actually does and says. I guess what I'm trying to say is life dosen't seem to get any easier, even when you get older. I know I'm supposed to be more mature and see things in a better light, and yet I still mess up soo much. I guess I'm just the girl whose waiting and wondering when her life will truely start. Allow me to clarify that last statement. I'm fully content and happy with who I am at this very moment. I'm not suicidal or depressed. I guess it's just been dark and rainy for far too many days now, and I've lost my focus. Maybe I've not lost my focus, but rather my better half of my brain. I feel like everything has just been fuzzy lately, and that maybe I'm making decisions that will impact the rest of my life. I know I can't mess up God's will for me, but sometimes it feels like I might be missing the best aspects of my life by not being brave. I don't know if I'm making any sense at all, and i don't want to depress my readers, but pray for sunshine...

New Camera!

2006-10-17T15:09:00.000-07:00

Yes ladies and gentleman, I've succombed to peer pressure and have purchased a digital camera. It was such a blessing to be able to go out and purchase something that would increase the joys of blogging. It's all for you guys. And now, some pictures for your enjoyment, they are random, because it is wet outside, and I refuse to go out for you, even for you.

Lesson Revisited...

2006-10-13T06:08:00.001-07:00

As a little girl, I remember I wanted Don't Wake Daddy for my birthday. I made several obvious mentions of the game, watched the commercial daily, and begged and begged and begged for it. The big birthday party came, and I got dozens of wonderful presents, things that were more precious and would last longer than Don't Wake Daddy. Yet, at the end of the party, I was still deep down depressed for not receiving Don't Wake Daddy.
Looking back on that selfish moment of my life, one of many unfortunately, happend the other day while watching old tv commercials. I saw the commercial, and then remembered the game. Funny how I have the other gifts still, and treasure most of them as my most precious possessions, but had forgotten all about the game.
Sometimes I treat my Heavenly Father the same way, and I have to learn that lesson all over again. Often I beg God for one thing in particular, and even when I get something better, I still go back to that one thing. I am again beginning to see that God's ultimate plan for my life includes only what's best for me, even if I think I should get something that I deem "better". So, again, I revisited that old lesson, and realized, that even if I think I need something, or even really want something, it's not always the best thing.
But Godliness with Contentment is Great Gain....

Happy Birthday!

2006-10-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

First of all, Happy Birthday to me! It's been exactly one year since my last birthday (duh), and my eventful stay at the Watertown Hospital. That's right, one year ago today I was admitted to the hospital and would have to, as it turns out, get my gall bladder removed. Disgusting huh? Anyway, I spent my eighteenth b-day laying in a hospital bed, watching old soap opera re-runs. So today has been a much better day, considering I am A) Not in the hospital, B) one year older and wiser, and C) Not in the hospital. Ah-hem, on another note, why did birthday celebrations change from elementary school to college. For example, in elementary school, your birthday was the biggest day of the year. You brought a treat to school, went to school in your new clothes, got balloons taped to your locker, got to be first in line for everything, everyone in the class sang to you, you had a big sleep over at your house after school that you looked forward to the entire year. Sometimes, if you were fortunate enough, your parents even took you to some awesome place like Totally Tubular, or Chuckie Cheese. Now, your in college, and your birthday consists of a phone call from your mom, a Happy Birthday from the groggy roomate across the hall, after you remind them that it is your birthday, and if your fortunate, a piece of paper from the business office, congratulating you on a Happy Birthday, with your name spelled wrong. O and do not forget the smashed cupcake that the Post Office people feel they can fit into your little 4X4 mail box slot. Ah yes, Happy Birthday...

He Giveth More Grace...

2006-10-06T14:55:00.000-07:00

What a hymn. If this is the only spiritual lesson I learn this semester, I still will feel like this semester was a success. He giveth more grace as the burdens grow greater...he giveth, and giveth, and giveth again. Wow. In Philosophy class this week we discussed the theories of Locke and Rouseau, and others. Here's the sad part, I got it. I could have easily believed each one of these philosophers, meaning if I rely only on the logic of my brain, I can easily leave out God. O what a sinner. Then, one of my friends reminded me after I made the statement that I felt like a sinful after that class, that it really isn't that bad if you are reminded of your own depravity. I guess sometimes we just live in this happy little Utopia of sorts and focus only on the rules and our ability to follow them. I guess I was faced with a harsh reality this week, I'm a really good hypocrite. I can fake it and pretend so well that sometimes I feel like I'm actually living this way. I can parrot off any response to any controversial statement, and back it up with scripture, without even thinking about it, and half the time not even believing it. Wow. I'm so glad and thankful for God's grace, what would I do without it? I'll leave you with the lyrics to a song that just captures my heart today.

My faithfull Father, enduring friend
your tender mercy is like a river with no wind
it overwhelms me covers my sin each time i come into your presence
I stand in wonder once again
your grace still amazes me
your love is still a mystery
each day i fall on my knees
'cause your grace still amazes me
your grace still amazes me
Oh patient savior, you make me whole
you are the author and the healer of my soul
what can i give you lord
what can i say
i know there's no way to repay you
only to offer you my praise
your grace still amazes me
your love is still a mystery
each day i fall on my knees
cause your grace still amazes me
your grace still amazes me
its deeper, its wider, its stronger,
its higher its deeper, its wider,
its stronger, its higher than anything my eyes can see
your grace still amazes me
your love is still a mystery
each day i fall on my kness
cause your grace still amazes me

Between Friends...

2006-10-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

Oh, I could hide neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings.
The six oclock alarm would never ring.
Whoops its ringing and I rise,
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
My shavin razors cold and it stings.
Cheer up, sleepy jean.Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believerAnd a homecoming queen.
You once thought of me
As a white knight on a steed.
Now you know how happy I can be.
Oh, and our good times starts and end
Without dollar one to spend.
But how much, baby, do we really need.
Cheer up, sleepy jean.Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
Cheer up, sleepy jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
[instrumental interlude]
Cheer up, sleepy jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.

Pics from Preivious Post

2006-09-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

One year ago today...

2006-09-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yup. One year ago today, September 26th, I moved into melford 110. Wow! what an amazing life experience that was, and how fast a year flew by! One year ago, there were four very single girls and one engaged girl living under the same roof. A tiny roof at that. We were dealing with smelly basketball shoes from a girl who insisted she was never going to play, phone calls from a boy back home who was interested in one of the single girls (whom we affectionately called Benny boo-boo-boo), a shop-a-holic in the truest sense of the word, a fear of one girl's homesteads being sold, and me, one who lost an organ, or missplaced it. It never ceases to amaze me how deep the Father's love for his children. Today, we have three happily dating girls who are a year older and a year prettier, one happily engaged girl (no, not the same one who was engaged before), one girl who's happily living in Alaska, and me, the faithful blogger of all of these events. The world has changed alot around me, and yet I'm the rock, the consistently available, ever dependable rock, whom you can build your blog around. So here's to you roomies 110, and what a year it's been....
P.S.- Tom Crusie was a honorary member of roomies 110-and we always tried to keep it checkable....

Note To Self....

2006-09-25T06:11:00.000-07:00

Ahem. I have mounds of homework to do. Miles to go before I sleep. Sounds pretty much like everyone I've talked to this morning, and it's only 8:06 central standard time. Crazy I know. We are officially in week 12 today, leaving us with 12 weeks to go I mean, and 3 weeks down. Nothing to complain about there. I have one paper to write this week and a book to read. With such a slow week, I plan on accomplishing a few things, and have decided to use a post to remind myself of what I need to accomplish outside of school:
-wash nasty sheets and towels
-clean out the empty water bottle collection from underneath my bed
-discover and execute the stinker in the fridge
-get a final count on the number of springs underneath my mattress
-get a final vote on the number of possible hair pieces on campus
-decide what came first, the chicken or the egg
-find time to go to Wal-mart for a scavenger hunt
Remember this is a working list and Have a good week!!!!!

Ode to La Honda....

2006-09-21T17:52:00.000-07:00

We thank you La Honda, for your protection. What a crazy 24 hours! God is SOOOO good! Like seriously, soooooo gooooood!!!! He protects us and teaches us lessons and keeps things interesting and protects us and protects us and protects us...did I mention God's protection?? I'm so thankful for good friends, good times, and bad times, and the ablility to learn from mistakes and apply new lessons to our lives. I guess there is only one more thing to do...that's to add this very applicable verse.....

James 14:4- "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appereth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

Trials are Terrific

2006-09-19T16:43:00.000-07:00

* Warning: the following post is almost void of humor, my deepest apologies, and tomorrow we will return to our regularly scheduled blogging.*

Ok, so maybe I'm optomistic. But today as I was preparing for my devotional groupies, I was discouraged by the trials I see around me. Many of my friends are going through real heartache, or dealing with old heartaches after a long time. When I hold up the trials of those around me, to my pittly issues, they don't compare. All of this stuff led me to one of my favorite books of the Bible, James. In James 1:1-7, it says to "Count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations, Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience, But let patience have her perfect work. that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." I guess everytime I used to read that passage, I thought it was Paul just brushing aside the trials that everyone goes through. But upon further review, I've discovered that it's just the opposite. The trials that we go through make it possible for us to be joyful. Crazy huh? But think about it. If we never went through anything difficult, how much we would take for granted the good days. Unless we have bad days, it is impossible to have good ones. Does that make sense? I guess trials of all shapes, sizes, and priorities shape us into the people God wants us to be. I guess some days the stupidest stuff gets to us, when it really shouldn't. Take for example, yesterday, I received a congratulations on your engagement card. Now, I haven't been dating this particular person for about two 1/2 years now, but it still hurts to see where we could have been instead of where we actually are. I know this isn't making any sense at all, but bear with me. I felt horrible that here I was, alone and at school, single as all get out, and well, I felt like maybe I missed God's best for my life. But you know what, going through that trial has prepared me for future relationships and prepared me to help others who may go through the same thing I did one day. All of these trials are to make us perfect and entire, wanting, desiring, needing, expecting, yearning for, nothing. Guess God provides us with passages of Scripture to help others, and by helping others we help ourselves...

The Importance of Being Elizabeth

2006-09-11T17:21:00.003-07:00

Today is Monday, the eleventh of September, it's dark and dismal outside, and it's been pouring rain all day long. And by all day, I mean all day and all night long as well, it's been pouring. By some small miracle I've been able to accomplish quite a bit of hw, and work, and go to class. Crazy I know. Not much has happened in my life over the last week or so. The day's have been pretty common and boring. However, I've discovered a few interesting things about the people in my US History class, and have decided to commit a small portion of my blog to them.
1) There is the sleeper. He's the kid who is always wearing a bulky jacket and occassionally sunglasses in class. He sits nonchalantly in the back of the classroom and spends the first and last 15 minutes of the class pretending that he is A) not going to sleep this hour, and B) pretending he hasn't just woken up. 2) There's the "look at me I'm here for your visual enjoyment" members of the class. Theses girls enter the classroom in some highly trendy outfit and periodically flick there nails through their hair. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for looking put together and attractive, but not the center of attention. 3) There's the, just ask me I know all of the answers to every question that you could ever possibly ask guy, but don't be fooled, this kid knows absolutely nothing. When asked a question her responds with, I couldn't say it any better than the textbook, and proceeds to read out of the book. 4) There's the head nodder. No matter what the teacher says, the kid cleaverly pretends he's been paying attention the entire time and nods his head accordingly. " The US will someday be abducted by aliens"-the kid's sitting over there nodding away. And 5) but not last, is my personal favorite, the leech. This kid sits in the back and pretends to be actually learning, while all the while is leeching off of his neighbors textbook. This kid is funniest to watch when his answer buddy feeds him the wrong answer, or the professor asks the dreaded follow up question.
Anyway, that's my history class. I read in a book this past week , Worst Case Scenario College Edition, that voting the kids in your class during class helps focus attention on something other than sleep.
Let's see, what else happend this week. O I learned the Importance of Being Elizabeth. Yup, you guessed it I've been listening to all of those "self help" tapes again. Just kidding. Actually I'm beginning to realize for the first time in my life that I'm completely and utterly content with the young woman God has made me and am happy where I am. Sure, I could always be happier, but for right now I'm appreciative of the struggles God has given me and the grace he provides for each and everyday. I've started a new habit which has greatly helped improve my attitude. For those of you who know me, I hate the morning. I mean, I've heard of a sunrise but have yet to actually witness one. So, being back at school which requires one to rise at crazy ridiculous hours is not my cup of tea. So I begin each morning with prayer. Sounds easy right? Well, for someone like me who rarely thinks prior to ten in the morning, it's been a real struggle which has proven very rewarding. Holy Cow! Look at the length of this post! Too bad my paper wasn't this easy to write. Anyway, hope you all have a great day, and try looking to the lord for the first thing, even when it's cold,dark and rainy.

Ode to Crocodile Hunter....

2006-09-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, may he rest in peace. This blog post would have been a day earlier, except I live in a bubble and thus get information only when I can. So here's to you Mr. Crocodile hunter, you knew sooner or later you were going to get bit.

First Week Down, 14 to go....

2006-09-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

Talk about crazy. Who would've thought that I of all people would not be able to find the time to blog for almost an entire week! Nuts. Anyway, a few things of importance have happened this week and I feel compelled to share the items with you right now.
1) Mayor forgot to mention the number of bridges in Watertown for the first time in school history.
2) I accidently enrolled myself in a junior level class, in which I can no longer drop without penalty. Ouch.
3) I officially got hired at the campus library so I can leagally tell people to shut up all of the time.
4) I auditioned for the part of Cecilly Cardew in The Importance of Being Earnest a part which I will not get.
5) It's officially Alumni Weekend and I am not Alumni nor do I know any Alumni
6) I'm officially the fastest girl in Melford Shower!

Roomies 207

2006-08-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

Yup. It's official. Summer is over and I am definitely back in Melford. Crazy huh? It seems like just yesterday I was leaving for freshman year, and now, I'm officially a sophomore. I met my new roommates and moved all of my junk back. I'll admit I was pretty nervous and worried about moving in and having to deal with all of the stuff that comes with leaving home, but aside from mild homesickness, everything seems to be fine. It was great getting to see everybody again, and to not have to worry about freshman orientation and all that stuff. I'm torn between missing home and loving school. I do know that I am in the very center of God's will, which is amazing. I guess it's sometimes easier to know what God's will is for your life than to do it. Does that make sense? I guess it's true for me, because I knew all along that this is where I was supposed to be, yet actually doing it was really difficult. I'm sure God has many lessons for me to learn and I know it won't be easy, but still, I'm ready for the ride....

2006-08-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

who knew that being exactly where you are supposed to be could make you feel so lost? I mean seriously. today was my dad's soccer schrimage and a bunch of my old friends from high school were there. we have nothing in common anymore. but more importantly, we are headed in very different directions. sometimes i have doubts about who i am and where i'm going. i lead a small life, not that i'm depressed, but my life is small. i don't go great places or change the world. i'm not courageous or confident. i fear the future even though i know God's in control. i don't understand why what should be God's will according to everything I think isn't, and why God's will is so well, hard. sometimes the decisions that are the most black and white are the hardest to make, and the gray ones are easy. i don't really want any answers, I just want to send this question out into the abyss, and things will probably look better after i get some sleep...

Happy Memory

2006-08-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

Every Time I see this, I remember this very simple and profound saying...

"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose

but you can't pick your friends nose."

How true is that??

On a more serious note...

School Starts in exactly five days...yikes.

I still have five days of vacation...yeah

I have exactly 120 hours left to watch tv...sad

This time next year I will be getting ready to go back to school...depressing

In six months I'll be back from Christmas break...sad

I miss New York terribly

I still haven't decided what I'm going to do about work at school

I think I should change my major...but I don't really feel like doing anything

I'm pretty sure I've been dumped...very sad

I'm worried about my future and a little anxious...

I think I need to go back to school...where life is simple

I'm really sure nothing makes sense that I just said...but yeah...it's kinda like that

I feel like plankton floating around in the ocean...

So here's a picture of what I looked like back when I knew what I was doing with my life.

Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear from your New Roomate

2006-08-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

10. "I took the liberty of pushing the beds together"
9. "You have two healthy kidneys, right?"
8. "No matter what you hear, don't open this trunk"
7. "Where should I hang these posters of beloved Commander Hussein?"
6. "If some guy comes by looking for his 15 grand, tell him to get lost"
5. "Can you believe that 'Bubble Boy' movie made fun of people with my condition?"
4. "Here's the deal: I get the bottom half of the room, you get the top"
3. "Uh oh, 9:30 -- time to go to sleep"
2. "Good news -- our dorm room is live on the Internet 24 hours a day!"
1. "Hide this quick! I'm the President's daughter"

Top Ten Reasons to Miss Melford

2006-08-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

10. Plastic bags full of underwear
9. Mattress Surfing
8. Shaving Cream Fights
7. Vaseline on the Toilet Seats
6. Pinto Bean Soup
5. Dominoes Cheezy Bread
4. Hot Pot Facials
3. Water Bottle Bowling
2. Hot Pot Surprise
1. Being The Dad :) !!!!

Only some of you will understand...two and a half weeks!!!

Death of A Sales Woman

2006-08-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

Yes-I'm officially done with Gap Inc. Well, at least at the Gap in good ol' Green Bay. This job was the hardest one I've had in my career. I've never had to endure so much persecution on both my personal life and on my work. I've never been picked on for my beliefs before, or challenged like I was this summer. I guess growing up in a small little bubble made me lack the appreciation I need for the bubble. I like not having to worry about not drinking or smoking, or sleeping around. This summer has been a great challenge to me and I'm better because of it. I thank God for his grace and suffiency. I'm also grateful I wasn't thrown into a foreign country were I would really have to feel persecution, I mean real persecution, not the pittly stuff I had to deal with this time around. So for now, here's a death of yet another sales woman...

Hello to August...

2006-07-31T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well, July will be officially over in about two hours. To me, August is still summer, but to the stores, magazines, and Maranatha, it's officially the beginning of fall. Sad isn't it? I love summer, but before I get too depressed, I need to remember that there is still a good month until school starts, well, almost a month, and they are still selling swimsuits, so it can't be too soon to fall. Campfest 2006 is officially over, and camping for a week with my family in the woods is usually the last sign of summer. O well, right? We've still got a few days to go, let's make them count...

My Current Endeavor

2006-07-21T08:44:00.000-07:00

Yes-I bit off yet another project-I'm taking 45 girls camping in the North Woods! It all started when my youth pastor reminded me that the girls all nighter was coming up, but they couldn't do it this year due to lack of volunteers-well if any of you know me-i had to do it! The girls all nighter is the single best activity of the summer-so anyway, I volunteered! Think of the fun! Bon fires on the beach, hikes in the woods, swimming in the bay with the waves, bible study at two in the morning! I'm so excited!! Love Ya'll! O-that's not me in the pic by the way

The Crazy Summer Life of the Young Elizabeth Hangen

2006-07-09T18:45:00.000-07:00

Yes ladies and gentleman, welcome to my crazy life. The following is a short update in the life and times of my life, as wonderful and exciting as it is.
So anyway, I'm officially back from NYC less then twenty four hours and I find out that my mother of all people is expecting a baby. Dude, I can't believe I just wrote that and it's true. So I have another brother or sister coming and I will be officially 18.57 years older than this child. Let's put that in prospective. When the kid is born I will be 19.2 years old. When the kid graduates from high school I will be 37 years old. 37!!! When the kid turns 60 I will be 79. I won't live to see this kid turn 79. Nuts huh? Let's see, what else makes my life crazy. O I'm taking 35 teenage girls on an overnight camping trip in tents in July, like the last few weekends before school resumes. I have a special friend in Baghdad who officially said hello to me today, a nice bachelor at church sending attention my way, and I cannot make up my mind. I know I know, I'm not that fine of a catch, however, that's what's happening. Tomorrow I'm going to see Pirates of the Carribean, dead man's chest with my cousins, my brother, and my brothers friends. Last night was Cruise Night Classic Cars at the A&W, so I served approximately 375 people dinner, including my entire youth group, my friends from Gap, my friends from church, and my family. Crazy!!!!! So that's an update for all of you, I hope you're doing well and I can't wait to see you'll in just a few short weeks!!!!! By the way, how do you like my new look????

Shopping and the Looong bus ride...

2006-07-08T14:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, last NYC update. I promised people that I would finish this long trip diary, so here it is. On Thursday we went down to Canal Street in Chinatown. See, this is a district in Manhattan that is full of immigrants, most of whom are illegal. The police and the city of NY let them live down there and sell stuff because it brings in millions of dollars a day in tourism. So for fun we took the group of kids down there. Well, a beautiful thing about downtown NY is stolen purses. You see these Chinese people have friends that work in stors like Coach, Louis Vutoinne, Gucci, Prada, etc. Sadly, many of these people steal purses and sell them to others to sell in NY. That's where the tourists come in. See, people like me who love a good deal and love to bargain with people are marketed and recruited to buy the purses which give money to the immigrants who can then continue to live in NY and make money for the city and so on and so forth. So I'm standing on the street just minding my own business and some Chinese guy confronts me and asks if I would be interested in a purse, and of course, I said yes. So me and a couple of the girls who wanted a purse too, follow this guy to his store. Well, that's what we thought. Anyway, he takes us to this huge wall right outside on the street covered in movie posters. He then gets on his Nextel walkie talkie and says something in Chinese which causes the door to open. It's pitch black inside and he waves us in. Scary right? Well, before I could even realize what was going on , we were following him up three flights of stairs in the darkness. Just when I thought we were all going to die for sure, he takes us into this little room. The door slowly opens and inside is the most beautiful little air conditioned store you've ever see, stocked full of these purses. How exciting right? Well, later that day we decided that it probably wasn't the safest thing to do and we vowed never to do it again. I bought some NYC t-shirts and a turtle (whose named Conan after the Late Show tv set we visited) . It was a great trip. All in all we saw 21 people saved and many more become interested in the gospel. So it was a great trip. Next year it seems like we are going to go to Paris. I'm so excited. Please continue to pray that the decisions made on the trip last a lifetime.

Monday-Wednesday, Thursday, and Finally Friday

2006-07-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry this trip diary is taking soo long, I've been trying to work two jobs, volunteer with my youth group, keep in touch with my friends, spend time with my family, and o yeah, sleep and eat. Anyway Monday through Wednesday were identical trip days. Up at 8, breakfast, missions meeting, cleaning, power nap, lunch, canvassing and street preaching (they wouldn't let me street preach, still bitter), dinner, war/VBS in the park, missions meeting, shower time (best time of the day) and bed, usually around 1am. Crazy huh? well no one said a missions trip was going to be easy and fun. Shower time was always an adventure. The church had a definit cochroach (spelling?) problem. O yeah, and despite what people say, they like water. They were all over the shower as you took one. Now for those of you who know me, I'm usually a trooper and can handle just about any disgusting situation, however this was not the case. These disgusting bugs were like, five inches+ in length, plus antennea. Anyway, thrusday was our last official day in the city, and we had probably the best day i've had in a loooong time. We began the day with a brisk morning walk through downtown Manhattan. You could smell the bistros and Starbucks and feel the night slowly drift away and the morning smell come. For those of you who haven't been to NYC, that didn't make any sense to you. Then we went to St. Patricks cathedral, a very religious church in the city. It's also very Catholic. Buried there are people like Joe DeMaggio, Babe Ruth, and a whole lotta bishops. It was not a Christian place, but religious places like thath have always provided me with a chance to quietly rededicate my life/ministry. I know it sounds dumb, but hey, it's me. After that it was to NBC studio's for a tour of tv's most watched network. There we saw the studio for NBC sports, the late show with Conan O'Brian, SNL, and Dateline. After NBC it was off to Rockefeller Center for lunch and shopping, or in my case lunch and caffeine pills. Then it was shopping on Canal Street, more about that later...

Pics from Sat. and Sun.

2006-06-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday-a day of fun sightseeing!!!

2006-06-28T18:14:00.001-07:00

above are some fun pics from sightseeing. we took the group of 42 young teenagers into the heart of manhattan for some serious sightseeing. some of the sights we saw include the statue of liberty, ellis island(home of the immigrants), grand central station, and finally time square. the group was really tired that day, so they kinda got crabby toward the end of the day, however, assinging myself to the troop moral officer, i managed to give a bunch of my girls a good time by taking them where a kid can be a kid, toys r us! inside the store they had a full size ferris wheel. after the toy store i took them to mcdonald's for some ice cream and coke. the girls seemed to have a better time and the over all attitude seemed to improve. sunday was fun and full of church and service. we fed all the congregation of about 120 people brats and cheese curds. i was originally supposed to go into the regular church serivice, but they needed someone for a "special" job. little did i know i was going to watch 15 kids from the ages of 2-15 for three hours in an 80 degree room. so, needless to say, we sang lots of songs and played thumbs up seven up for hours. that evening i got to spend some really special time with the girls in my room and we talked about everything under the sun, just quality girl talk. it was awesome. that night we also kicked off our vacation bible school. sorry if this was a long post, but they were some really fun days!!!! luv ya

New York Pictures

2006-06-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

Live from New York-It's Saturday Night!!!

2006-06-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

Above are the Pictures from these two days!

Figured you'd all be dying to read this, so I figured I should post a little bit from the beginning of the trip. So far I've had so much fun I can hardly stand it. So I hope this works, but I'm going to try to post some pictures-keep your fingers crossed.

Day One-
Well, today we packed the bus pretty much all night long. All of the kids luggage was supposed to be there by like 6 pm. Unfortunately for the bus packing crew, the last suitcase arrived at about 9:30 pm. This means that the entire bus had to be packed and unpacked a total of three times to get everything in. Let's just say we were extremely packed into that thing. Sleeping bags were shoved in next to the carry-ons in the bulkhead, and I had my duffel bag, another bag, my purse, my pillow, and two blankets all shoved in my two seats, praise the Lord I had two seats. Got to love those sponsor privileges. Then we left Green Bay at about 11:45 pm CST.

Day Two-
Well, we'd been on the bus for exactly 25 hours befor we saw the beautiful Manhattan skyline. Needless to say, the troops were a little cranky. None the less, we could not talk the group leader, Pastor Dave, out of his idea of sightseeing the very night we got there, without going to the church where we were staying first, great idea. So we went to the World Trade Center Site-a place that always makes me tear up and renew my patriotism, drove through Times Square, where it always looks like the middle of the day it's so bright, and finally a quick look at the Empire State building.

Busy Busy Busy

2006-06-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

400 hotdogs. 250 pickles. 650 starbursts. 2 duck tape hats. 40 teenagers. 10 days. 1 mission. NYC.

Isn't that an awesome way to write out a trip introduction? I'm pretty pleased. Well, I've purchased all of the food and planned all of the games. I've cleaned my room and have begun packing. Monday and Tuesday I have to work 11-7 to get the last little bit of money that I can. Wednesday, we leave. I'm so excited. I can't sleep. I live and breathe NYC. I can't wait. I've got some awesome things planned and cannot wait to blog about it. I might even get a digital camera just for the trip so I can blog. That's how much I love you guys. LoL. Anyway, my laptop is going on yet another trip to Memphis to get repaired while I'm in NYC, so blogging for the next two weeks will probably be few and far between, but hey, I'll try. Anyway, please pray for the kids on the trip, for us as sponsors, and just for safety and for God to work while we are in the Big Apple. Hope you all are doing well, and I miss you!
Can't wait to tell you how fun the trip was!

The Gap, A Hamster, and NYC...

2006-06-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Not that it matters considering I'm the only one one here who updates regularly, with the exception of Ryan Berg. Go Ryan. Anyway, I've officially transfered and become a Gap girl, good bye Banana Republic. O well right? The good news is I'm making more money than before, hey, only like a quarter more, but I'm not going to complain. And the discount card lives on, Praise the Lord. God is so good. It's funny when I think about it now. I was looking through some old journals and junk yesterday as I attempt to clean the dump known as my room, and I came across and I would love to work at Gap entry. How weird is that? Then I remembered the verse about God fulfilling the desires of your heart. How neat is it that we have a God that remembers our stupid little dreams and works it out that if they are in his plan he'll fulfill it. Pretty neat-o if you ask me. Yesterday I spent part of my day at Pet-co. I do not just hang out there, if that's what you're wondering. My favorite little dog needed a haircut desperately, so I took the opportunity to look at all of the cute little critters you can purchase. And, well, I fell in love. He's a cute little miniture hamster. No, he's not a mouse. He's a hamster. He's adorable and retails for 14.99! Now, I'm going to need to purchase a cage, and tunnels, and the whole nine yards for this little guy, but I really think I need one! O and today I'm going to finish up all of my NYC stuff, because we leave in a week! That's right, this time next week I'll probably be running around my house looking for the perfect little outfit to wear on the bus for 18 hours! I hope the kids have fun, I've been dying to go on this trip since December! Anyway, I've got to go, sorry if I wrote a book, but just wanted to keep you all up to date!! Talk to you all later and miss you much!

Breakfast on the Farm...

2006-06-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

This morning my family got up early and headed about an hour Northeast to a family run farm for the annual Breakfast on the Farm meal. Although I was skeptical about eating with the cows at first, it ended up actually being kind of fun. We got farmer size helpings of scrambled eggs, sausage, cheese curds, bagels, yougurt, and milk. It was definitely a dairy delight. After eating as much as I could, I got to walk around the cows and pet them, very exciting if you've never pet a cow before. Also I got to see a tractor pull, a flying contraption and eat Culver's ice cream, all out on the farm. So anyway, it was great fun. Now, I'm off to more graduation parties, for more cake and hamburgers, crazy! NEW YORK IN NINE DAYS!!!!! So excitied!!

And we're back in the saddle again!!!

2006-06-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

Yep! Monday is my first day back at A&W! I'm soo excited! I've missed asking if they want fries with that! It's the bomb! I can't believe how much I've missed all of the people there! Anyway, I'll talk all about work later! Got to run to a party!! I luv being home!!!!

Lappy takes a Road Trip!

2006-06-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

That's right-I'M LOSING LAPPY! He's going to Memphis! Well, he's going to Dell corporation to get fixed, whoa, that sounded bad...He's getting a new casing since I melted his existing one... It's so sad! Well, have a safe trip lappy-and come back healed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't ask me why there are two-oops.

One year ago today...

2006-06-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

One year ago today I graduated from highschool. How cool is that? I can't believe it's been an entire year since I graduated and that tonight I'm going to watch all of my old friends graduate. It will be so exciting to celebrate this time with them. Last night, was the annual awards program. It was really weird to go and hang out with the kids and see how much they've grown and changed in just one year. I"m so exictied for them as they go on, either up a grade or go on to college, many of them to Maranatha, in the fall. We are exactly one week and four days from New York, where I will really have some quality time with all of my old friends. Tonight, a bunch of the kids who have graduated either with me or before me will be at the ceremony and we will finally have a chance to get together and talk. For all of my other friends, miss you and wish you could be here so we could all hang out and be a family again!!!! Can't wait to hear how fun your summer is going!!!! luv ya!
O the picture is some guy named Micheal Krepps-i'm assuming he'd probably hate it if I put this less than flattering picture on my blog, so I did....sorry Mike

Done for Good! (well, two months anyway...)

2006-05-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

Yup, totally done and ready for summer!!! I've just returned from a fabulous weekend in Door County! It's beautiful up there! I'm soo tired right now I have nothing really to blog about! I"m just so glad to be home! I'll blog more later! Miss you all!!

Last Official Day...

2006-05-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

Wow! Today is it-I finally made it. I just have a short time now before I head home-exactly 28 hours. But today is the last official day of regular classes, tomorrow it's two finals and jump in the car and wave Good-bye to Watertown. Life is weird. All I really wanted for like the past 10 months was to get out of here and go home. Now that it's finally here, I feel like a part of me has died, that the best experiences of freshman year are officially over. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to sit around here for one second longer than I actually have to, but still, it's kinda sad, well, a little sad, maybe less than a little sad, o, who am I trying to kid! I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME!!!!! I mean, I'll miss y'all, but it's only like 12 short weeks, actually it's officially 92 days, 19 hours, and 56 min away-I knew I bought that cell phone for some purpose... I can't wait to get home, go to work a little, and head to NEW YORK!!!!! The trip I've been planning and dreaming about for months!!! I can't wait to see what God will do in the hearts of the youth group, the hearts of the people of New York, and most importantly to me, what God will teach me. It seems I always learn something hard, and yet sooo helpful to me in my spiritual walk. I can't believe it's only 20 days, 9 hours, and 52 minutes away!!! Ok, enough with the cell phone. What an amazing year--now if I can just get through finals....I'LL BE DONE!!!!

Ode to Room Check...

2006-05-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

Ahhh yes, our room is indeed a pit. Throughout the last few days we have all kinda been complaining about it and looking at things and saying how we "should clean"or someone should "vacuum" or do something in a clean fashion. Alas, there has been no effot put forth by anyone in an attempt to keep the room clean. So today, we wrote down what was on our floor, and decided to blog about it....
Currently on our floor there is...
16 Pairs of Shoes
4 Different Library books
1 Culver's spoon-just the spoon
1 Bottle of nailpolish
1 cell phone charger
1 curling iron
1 hair dryer
3 socks-not pairs of socks, just three random socks
1 empty Walgreens bag
1 full Old Navy blogs-with stuff not from Old Navy
1 towel
1 bottle of dishsoap
1 fuzzy pink monkey
1 dirty hot pot
1 Vincent van Gogh book
1 hairtie
1 bread tie
3 pieces of unrecognizable material
3 bags of trash
1 Printer

Tonight we plan to add a pizza box and paper plates to the mix...you've just got to love college!

Four More Days....

2006-05-23T06:29:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes God dosen't tell us his plan because we wouldn't believe it anyway."

Wow! Is that ever true! As I look back on this past year, I'm amazed. One year ago today, I was at a Graduation Party for my friends, hanging out (no pun intended), and anxiously awaiting graduation. I had just finished my speech, made my hair appointment (hey, a crucial part!), and tried on the Kool-aid man cap and gown, we graduate in red and white. I was enrolled accepted at Cambride University and was all ready to sail across the ocean blue and experience "real" life. But God in his wonderful way changed everything and sent me here, to Watertown, WI. How more exotic can you get? From there, God unveiled some amazing things to me. Not everyday was easy, not every lesson easy to bear and learn from, and sometimes all I wanted to do was pack up and head North... But God loves his children even when their stubborn and feeble and keeps them in his hand no matter what. As I prepare for summer, I have many anxieties and fears, and just plain excitement for what God is going to do in my life and in the lives of those around me. But today, I'm still in summer school, so God's will is a little less exciting, but full of promise for today...

We can leave at anytime now....

2006-05-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

Good grief. It feels like I've been here for EVER!!!! It's not that I don't love all of my friends here, or am not greatful for all of the wonderful experiences that I've had here at college, I'm just ready to get out you know? Experience my home and bed again for longer than a week or a weekend! LoL. No actually, I'm just sick of tests and quizzes and the rigours of school, I would much rather just go home and work a little and sleep a little and spend time with cuzcuz and sam! O well, just four more days right? and a ton to get accomplished by then!!!

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!!!

2006-05-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

Well, it's officially, we have a mouse. It was seen last night at about eleven o'clock in the evening. It's a brave little fella, it comes right out and runs right underneath the bed. Very sneaky. So now we have a mouse, and we still have one complete week left to spend sleeping in this room with this little critter scurrying about. Lovely thought isn't it. Now if I could only figure out a way to catch and kill it...

You've Got to Love Dorm Life...

2006-05-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. You must love living in the dorm. Take today for example. I woke up to Morgan, gently trying to awaken Brandi. Now, Brandi, was crying for at least five more minutes, and Morgan was persistantly trying to awaken her. Then, my alarm clock went off and I headed down the hall to brush my teeth. When I got back, I thought to myself, "Self-How about some ice cold cereal this morning?" Then, I found a clean bowl and spoon, a difficult challenge for anyone living in a dorm, and grabbed the cereal. I headed to the fridge and opened the door, inside, no milk. "Curious," I said to myself, "Where else would one find the milk except for the fridge?" Upon turning around I found my answer, behold, on the dresser sat the milk. Then it was off to class and lecture time for quite a few hours. Then, upon returning for the evening, I discovered that I was hungered. Brandi and I thought to ourselves, "How about mashed potatoes and chicken nuggets for dinner?" So we ate a tremendous dinner of instant mashed potatoes and dinosaur chicken nuggets, delicious. Then, I made a jello mold and placed it in the fridge. O and did I mention, all of this takes place in a Hot Pot? Amazing, like I said, you must love dorm life... by the way, that's NOT me in the picture, our room is never that clean, and did I mention, I'm MUCH cuter than that!..........................

Food for Thought...

2006-05-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness...
Pretty exciting huh? Unalienable rights right? rights that no one person or group of people can take away from us. As I was thinking about this today, I decided that these rights are not just connected to us and our country. These rights are guaranteed to everyone, everyone in the entire human race. They are rights given to us from God himself. What a great thing to be thankful for!
I guess today is just going to be my average ordinary day. But I think the sun is starting to come out for the first time in a week and that makes me very happy! Anyway, have a good day everybody and remember to thank God for something today!

Crazy Weekend...

2006-05-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

Wow! What an insane weekend we had here at school. Time goes by so slowly sometimes you know? and then, just when you think you have enough time to get the rest of your leisure time in, it flies. So for this weekend, I worked, slept, worked, ate at Perkins!, ironed, slept, churched, worked, hw'd and hopefully sleep. Crazy Crazy Crazy!! Today is officially the first holiday I've ever missed at home, Mothers Day! I'd dedicate this blog to my mother, but she dosen't read it, she says it's too embarrassing. Hmmm...wonder what that means. Anyway. Here's to being random right? Ok, enough rambling for now...I've got summer school week two tomorrow...

Hold the phone- I don't have a life

2006-05-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

It's true. I voluntarily went to summer school. I don't have a life. I sit by the phone waiting for it to ring, and when it does it's always just my mom. I just finished eating a hotdog dinner, which is the record fourth time this week. But it's the only thing left. You see, there is no meal plan for me, so I'm forced to grocery shop and consume what I've purchased. So, being the typical college kid that I am, I eat everything not good for me, but tasty, first. So today, as it pours buckets, I have nothing to eat but instant mashed potatoes, frosted flakes without milk, crackers, and rice krispe bars. All I want right now is a little debbie. Something completely processed and wrapped in plastic. Something with wax like frosting. I also would like something fun to do. For example, a movie to watch, television to watch, radio to listen to, a good book to read, ANYTHING BUT SIT HERE IN THIS DINKY DORM ROOM AND STARE AT MY ROOMATES. Ultimately, we're just staring at eachother hoping that at least one of us gets asked out, gets interesting friend news, or even pukes. So we'd have something to blog about. Now it's 5:11 on Friday night, dinners done, and all I have left to look forward to is folding clothes at Banana-in the pouring rain at an OUTDOOR outlet mall. Yeah! I also realized that this no life thing is pretty much a universal problem around the kids here at Maranatha. See for example, Justin's blurb. Dirty feet from frisbee throwing is not a good time. So yeah-yippee skippy! So I'm going to go chuck my hot dog juice water and prayer for a life....

Just in case you thought you had it all figured out...

2006-05-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

Yep. Just when you think you've got it all figured out, something out of the blue happens you know? Anyway, I found a verse that I thought was applicable to today and this post. Psalm 18:30, "As for God his way is perfect, the word of the Lord is sure, he is a Buckler to all them that fear him." So God's not shocked, God's not in awe, He knows everything and is in complete control. So rest in that today. And pray for eachother...

Summer School. Day Five...

2006-05-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

It can stop raining at any time now. Seriously. It's been pouring for like the last 48 hours. It's ridiculous. It's only 45 degrees outside and rain rain rain.... Not that I don't like the rain every once and a while, I mean, what would have happened to the itsy bitsy spider if it never rained? I totally get that. My point is, could it get just a little warmer? It was downright cozy in the dorm last night, I must agree. With all of the little lights on and the comfy colthes and blankets it was wonderful. Yet, I'd like to know what it's like to wear short sleeves in MAY!!! Good greif...anyway, I'm just going to do hw now and try to stay warm and germ free!!!!

Bonzaii!!!!

2006-05-10T16:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know it is spelled wrong and probably not even a real word. But that's how I feel right now. Without words. As I sit here in the quiet of this moment, I am overcome. Sounds deep and mysterious dosen't it? Now, before you think I'm smoking something or involved in mysticism, let me clarify...God is .....exactly what we need. It's true. I just finished eating my hotdogs, cooked in a hotpot, reading my e-mail from all of these wonderful friends, joking about food poisoning as we all ate nacho cheese, reading about the Life of Christ, and it hit me. God is....everything. I guess I was looking for the perfect word to describe God when I titled this entry. God is everything. Yet, how much do we take him for granted? I'm not really sure what has just brought this small revelation to my mind, but I'm guessing it's probably God. I'm in summer school, I'm a sophmore in college, I have more friends now then I've ever had, God is so real to me, and I'm so blessed. Now I've blogged about this before and I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm blowing my own spiritual horn here, because really I"m not trying to. I guess sometimes in the hustle and bustle of things we get carried away with life's stuff, empty, really non-important stuff, and we neglect to spend little moments just being quiet, and listening for a still small voice. That's what God uses right? And if we are so busy and so caught up in ourselves and our surroundings, we can't really listen right? I guess that's my deep thought for today. I'm going to take at least one minute a day, hopefully more, and just sit and do nothing. Well, nothing but listen...

Grocery Shopping and Break Dancing...

2006-05-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

Well, in case I ever take/took mom and pop for granted I certainly do not now. Yesterday, I officially went grocery shopping for myself and two friends for the first time in my life. Yes, and let me tell you, food is expensive. I'm not quite sure why either. I mean, why does everything have to cost soo much money? It's just a can of spegetti o's, would 50 cents be acceptable instead of 1.29? Now, my view might be slightly tainted, I've always been a name- brand shopper, that is, until yesterday. We put back all of the fun stuff and it was still $40.00!!!! Crazy. We did have fun shopping though. Brandi started breakdancing to "say a little prayer for you" in the middle of the bread isle, right as Maranantha students walk by. Ah, yes, little memories. As for today, homework, and lots of sitting in class, that's what I have to look forward to. Also, pray for rain on Saturday, I really don't want to work my on call shift...

Summer School. Day Two

2006-05-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday we all officially started summer school at Maranatha. It was just so much fun. Lol. Actually, it's only day two and I'm sooo tired I'm not quite sure if I'm going to make it. I never realized just quite how long a class is when you have to do three days in one. Yuck. But we're getting credits accomplished right? and in only three weeks! But, I'm telling you, I cannot wait for summer!!!! Don't get me wrong, I have the best roomates ever and I love eating fruit loops in my pajama's every morning, but still, sometimes you just want to sleep in and do nothing. O well, right? laziness is not the answer. So, here's to you, mr. skip summer school, I salute you.

Good bye Mr. Ed!!!

2006-05-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

Today I said good bye to my dear friend Eric. He's officially on base now and headed to Baghdad as soon as the air force wants him to. It's only a 90 day deployment, so for that we can be thankful. His goal over there is to start a Bible study and to hopefully win some of his crew members to the Lord. Also, another huge prayer request is that he finds air conditioning over there somewhere. Yesterday it was 122 degrees!! Anyway, so here's to you-take care and I'm praying for you!

Let the Summer Begin!!!!

2006-05-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah!! I love shopping!! Yesterday on the way back home from school, my mom surprised me by driving half way to Watertown and going shopping with me in Oshkosh. She brought my two year old brother(note, my brother, not my son) with her as well as my Grandpa. We spent the entire afternoon shopping at Maurices, Tommy Hilfiger, Bath and Body Works, JC Penny, Izod, Bass, and the list goes on. She bought me tons of stuff for summer and I helped her outfit herself as well. Not that she has a bad sense of style, but hey, sometimes everybody could use a little help. It was so fun just to spend the afternoon with my family and help take my mind off of saying goodbye to all of my friends! ( at least those who are leaving me before summer school). Anyway, today, I'm scrapbooking, hanging my black and white photographs, and watching tv!! It's so good to be back, and yet so sad that school's over!! Anyway, keep in touch guys!!!

The End of The Beginning...

2006-05-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart."

That's my end of the semester quote. It's hard to believe that freshman year is officially over. Now, I'm laying on my couch in front of the tv, but I'm not really watching it. I'm kinda just hanging out like I would have done this time last year, but it's not the same. As I lay here I can't help but think of all the great moments and bumps in the road over the last nine months. I miss everybody already, crazy huh? Today I said goodbye to so many dear friends and in a way, to so many good memories. O I still have summer school, and then I really do leave for good, well, until fall anyway. But the traditional way of school life is over, and will never be just like it was again. So, I decided to find some parting words to give all of my friends and here they are. Wherever you go this summer, go with all your heart. Don't do anything half way, or half heartedly. God has given us each the training and responsibilities to use the gifts he has given us for his glory, so use them for him this summer. I love you all, will miss you, and can't wait to hear what God has done in your heart and life over the summer!!!

The E. Hangen Memorial Scholarship for Academic Mediocracy

2006-04-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's official, we need better/different scholarships here at school. While I'm completely for all of the wonderful donors and the money which they so geneously gave to our school, would it kill them to give it to Humanities majors? Or education majors? It's like if your not a missionary, nurse, business major, or had someone drop dead this year, you don't deserve any free money. I can fake sick just as well as some people can, and I'm not good at nursing or business, so where do I fit?? And then, an idea was born...the E Hangen Memorial Scholarship for Mediocracy. That's my scholarship! I'm going to graduate from here one day and create a scholarship fund for people just like me, girls who are trying to get into law school and are exceptionally in debt. I'm really excited about it. I think the first award should be given to me...but that's a personal problem.
As for today, I had two finals and tonight we're going to go celebrate Lydia's b-day by shopping at Johnson Creek! Yeah!!! Tomorrow it's off to work and back to my homestead! How exciting!!!
Anyway, hope you all have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ode to the new freshman class...

2006-04-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

ah yes. Freshman year is almost officially over. Thus, I think I should take the time to leave behind some of those things I wish I would have known before freshman year...and here they are....
1. Whites and Reds really can't be washed together
2. Pizza does go bad
3. Always wear flip-flops in the shower
4. Candle warmes and laptops don't mix well
5. Yes, you can get wax out of a keyboard
6. The dog ate my homework thing dosen't work anymore
7. People can and will fall out of the top bunk
8. Foot odor is a real problem
9. People really do sleeptalk
10. Shower curtain works best inside the shower
11. No one really cares about your sleep habits
12. The library is that really big building with all the books
13. Nylons need to be washed daily
14. You can never have enough window fans
15. Build up, not out with your stuff
16. Build up, not out with your stomach
17. The freshman 15 is a real problem
18. Doritoes and pizza do not constitute a "real meal"
19. Avoid the cafeteria oatmeal
And finally...
20. Finals are a very real thing and do count, alot...

The Funk...

2006-04-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

Yes. In Melford dorm there is a strange smell, a funk. You can't miss it, no matter how much you want too. The funk clings to your belongings. It's an unrecognizable combination of garlic chicken from Olive Garden, pizza that is fuzzy, that tasty toilet smell, bare feet, B O, and now, methanphytamines. Yes, all of this confined to a tiny home can be devestating to one's sense of smell. The fact that the dorm sup denied the funk, and got the RA to also deny they funk, just cemented the fact that there is indeed a funk. So step back, take a whiff, it'll knock your socks off...